So, you're itching for a photoshoot, but your potential photographer (possibly me, maybe not) is either ghosting you or sending you the dreaded rates link?

"Why aren't you down for a freebie??" you lament, contemplating slamming the 'unfriend' button...

Here's the lowdown on nabbing a TF shoot (that's fancy for trade for) from a photographer you're dying to work with.

Do You Even Lift... Experience?

I'm all about trade shoots, folks. It's my playground for experimenting with new ideas or diving into projects that regular clients wouldn't touch with a ten-foot selfie stick. But let's face it, if you're a rookie with zip experience, you're basically a prop with a pulse.

The Fix? Keep knocking on photographers' doors until you've got enough shoots under your belt to put Batman's utility belt to shame. Or just bite the bullet and book a session with someone who knows their F-stops from their ISOs.

Social Media: Size Matters

If your Instagram is as private as Area 51 or your friend list is smaller than a hamster's social circle... well, a trade shoot won't exactly set the world on fire. I dive into these gigs to expand my social media empire. It's a quid pro quo: I showcase your mug to my followers, you spread my gospel to your clique. But if your online presence is as barren as the Sahara, we're both just shouting into the void.

How Many Times Have You Swiped Right?

I've got the memory of a goldfish on a bender. Message me today, and by tomorrow, I've forgotten more faces than a Picasso painting. Persistence pays dividends, my friends. A gentle reminder can turn my "who dis?" into a "oh yeah, that person!"

Please and Thank You: The Magic Words

Picture this: You waltz into Taco Bell, demand a free taco, and then ghost the burrito guy. Rude, right? Same deal with asking for a free shoot. Sure, your time is valuable, but so is mine. You’ve come to me for a reason, or I, you. Goes both ways. If I send over my rates and you ghost me, or don’t show up, I'm gonna assume you're playing the field. Adios, amigo! Permanent blacklist (paid or trade) and broadcast to other photographers in the area. We’re a brother/sisterhood. Mutual respect for each-other is important no?

BUT if you hit me up about a specific shot I've taken or a concept I'm into, or even offer up a killer location/wardrobe idea that aligns with my vibe? Well, color me intrigued!

Portfolio: Is it Lit or Nah?

If your portfolio is filled with more cringe than a middle school dance, you're gonna have a bad time. But if you've shot with all the big dogs in the industry, you're probably the real deal. And that means more magic for both of us.

What's Your Why?

Are you in it for the LOLs? Just a hobbyist? Then don't take it personally if I pass. But if you're trying to make bank off this gig, let's talk business, not baja blasts. Damn, now I want one.

Keep Calm and Shoot On

Practice makes perfect, my friends. So keep snapping those selfies, keep an eye on the influencers, and let's make some damn magic happen!

And if you're still struggling to make waves in the photo world, stay tuned. I've got something up my sleeve that's as hot as a jalapeno in a salsa contest.

Thanks for tuning in, folks!